Memories Don't Last Forever
by where-my-heart-resides
Summary: ONE SHOT A friend is there to help you up when you fall. A best friend pees himself laughing, and trips you again. Remus remembers Sirius after his death. OOtP spoilers. Contains suicide.


Hello. I'm in a bad mood, and feel like murdering a couple of characters. And, I didn't want to ruin any of my other stories by killing any of those people off. So, I'm making a one-shot so that I can go and murder a couple of people, and not ruin anything. Oh ya, and this IS NOT SLASH! Remus and Sirius were like brothers, nothing more. Sorry all you S/R shippers. Enjoy. Or don't enjoy. I don't really care either way. Remember, flames are for arsonists. However, if you happen to be an arsonist, I won't stop you from flaming.

WARNINGS: AU, Suicide.

Disclaimer: Do any of you actually even read the disclaimer?

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_Summer starts tonight reminding me of past times  
The air is getting clear  
This cigarette tastes better_

I remember all the times we sat and talked  
About almost everything  
Time gets counted out as I forget  
It can defeat anything

I wish I could see your face again  
Memories don't last forever

-Is this how you feel? By 15 minutes late

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I lay back on my bed.

I stare blankly at my ceiling.

It used to be pure white.

"But it's so _boring_!" Sirius used to complain to me all the time.

So, I finally let him paint it.

However, I don't even remember agreeing to the color pink.

So, now I have a pick ceiling.

He wanted to do the carpet the same color. I didn't let him, of course.

So, my carpet is still pure white.

But, not for long. Soon, it will be washed out with color.

My sheets are so soft.

Sirius always wanted to come over, just so he could sleep in my bed, on my soft sheets.

How I miss the sound of his voice yelling "I'm here Moony!" as he barged through my front door, without even knocking.

Then came that horrible day, almost 15 years ago.

When Lily and James were murdered. When little Harry did the impossible and survived.

When Sirius left. When Peter framed him.

I was left alone, and completely friendless.

I went to visit Sirius once. In Azkaban. It was horrible. I was horrible.

There was Sirius, sitting in his cell, no happiness left in him.

Then, he saw me. He smiled. I bet it was the first and last time that he smiled while he was in Azkaban.

"Don't you smile at me, traitor." I had said. I watched his face fall.

"I'm not here for you. Not to tell you that I believe you, or that I'm going to help you. I just want to know why you did it, you disgusting person." I spoke, cruelty dripping off of my tongue with every word.

"Remus, you have to believe me. I didn't-" he started.

"Forget this. You are dead to me, Black." I said, with such brutality that I even shocked myself.

His face turned pink with surprise.

Then, he did something that I had never seen him do before. He put his head in his hands, and cried.

I turned on my heel and walked out, without even a word to him.

Then, nearly three years ago, he escaped from Azkaban.

I was terrified. But, by the end of the year, after that whole willow thing, I believed him.

And, after Harry and Hermione set him free, I became accustomed to hearing his voice again.

He often stopped by my house, just for a visit, and I realized that he hadn't changed at all.

Still smiling, still not knocking, still Sirius.

Then, last month, he died. 

I was there, with Harry, when he fell.

I held Harry back.

It was so hard for me to resist the urge to let him go, and run to Sirius myself.

But now, I really am alone and friendless.

I don't think I can cope with the pain this time.

Last time, I had my hatred to keep me going.

Now, all I have is pain.

Heart-wrenching, stomach clutching, pain.

A feeling of anxiety has settled in my throat.

I want to cry.

I want to just break down. Let my guard down.

But I can't. I don't know why, but I just can't.

His face keeps swimming before my eyes.

I just can't forget it.

My best friends are gone.

I have a solution. I'm digging around in this box to see if I can find it.

Here it is.

I feel its cool metal.

It's heavy.

It'll work, I think.

I'm putting it up to my head.

My hand is on the trigger.

I'm going to pull it. 

I'm squeezing the trigger. Just a little bit more.

BAM. I heard the sound. I'm feeling some pain.

I'm swirling away.

I look down, and see my dead body on the ground, but it's only visible for a moment.

I'm swirling away faster and faster.

I'm above the sky.

Look! There's Sirius.

"Sirius!" I say. He smiles, he's always smiling.

"Hello Moony." He says happily. Like a little child.

"Hey, Sirius, guess what!" I say enthusiastically. Now I'm acting like a little child too.

"What?" He asks.

"My carpet isn't white anymore."

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Did you like it? Did you get it? If you didn't get the end, I'll explain it. Well, obviously if somebody gets shot, they bleed. So, It's like, his carpet isn't white anymore because it's covered in red blood. Gruesome, yes, but it sounded like a good ending. R&R!


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